On May 25th, 2020, I received a google alert in my dining room quarantine office, telling me that a man had died in police custody in Minneapolis, MN, near where I lived. It was easy to get sucked into news stories during that time, because we didn't have a lot to do but watch. So, I did just that. I watched as the streets in Minnesota caught fire with revolt and riot. I watched violence unhinge centuries of repressed rage as it billowed out into every corner of my state. I watched a man named Derek Chauvin, kneel on another man's neck for over 9 minutes until he was dead. I watched that officer fling the man's body onto a stretcher with complete apathy and no humanity evident. I watched other men protect Chauvin with guns preventing bystanders from saving his life. I watched people surround the murder filming the details with their phones, for 9 minutes, while he slowly and painfully died. I watched this on May 25th, and every single day after that until Chauvin was eventually convicted of murder and sent to prison. I watched the system fail right in front of my eyes. The system had been failing people like George Floyd for centuries, but this time we all got a front row seat. There would be no doubting the role of racism in our mostly white mostly middle-class state of Minnesota. We were/are no better than the worst that is said about our society. I watched, I didn’t want to, but I watched because I believed it was my responsibility to bear witness. So, I watched. And it changed me forever.
Have you been watching the Chauvin trial?
Who?
The man who murdered George Floyd. Have you been watching the Chauvin trial?
You know Floyd was taking Fentanyl
Have you been watching the Chauvin trial?
I agree but I can't support burning businesses down
Most people in Minnesota didn’t watch. Some did, but most didn’t. People did everything they could to look away, to try and justify the terrible acts of violence that transpired that day. I watched them too. I watched them justify, excuse, ignore, and placate. I watched them reinforce the denial of the broken parts of our society, that our system depended on to remain racist and classist. These things are difficult to watch. They can burn a hole right into your heart that will seemingly never heal properly. There will always be evidence of that heartbreak no matter what. If we watch, can we observe without absorbing? Right? Are we meant to, as humans, not feel the pain we feel when watching another human suffer?
It was my choice to watch. I could have looked away at any time. Most other people around me did look away. That’s privilege. And, for me and the people around me, that was familiar. But that familiar privilege is what has allowed this system to continue to oppress poor, vulnerable, and people of color for so long. Hundreds of years of looking away got us here today. I wasn’t going to look away any longer. Neither should you.
My story doesn't matter. It really doesn't. I'm not different, or unique. My life was not difficult. I did not struggle. I did not overcome hardship. I am educated (highly) by default, by way of the family I was born in to. I benefit from the system that oppresses those I serve. I serve the poor, disabled, and hungry. Then, I go home to my 5 bedroom house in the suburbs, feed my kids food I did not work hard to buy, kiss my kids goodnight tucked in tight to the warm beds provided by privilege and whiteness in America. I am lucky to have been born lacking melanin in America. Me "waking up" shouldn't impress you, because there is almost no punishment for me once I do.
Welcome to the monthly D.E.I. meeting, please state your reason for joining
I want to make the office safe for everyone
I want to see more diversity in our office
that's what I was gonna say
When America elected Dictator/Celebrity Trump in 2016, I felt disgusted. I disappeared off social media, began limiting my consumption, and turned off corporate media. I poured myself into my work and joined our D.E.I. committee. believed I was doing everything I could at the time, but once I woke up, I realized all I was doing was assuaging my own white guilt. And that was not enough.
When we accept a washed-out safe version of truth and accountability, we are stuck with meaningless wasted efforts by people disconnected from the real problems causing humans to suffer. We end up making everything worse because we convince ourselves we are truly making a difference with our unremarkable efforts, not at all disturbing our own level of comfort when making room for "helping" in our day-to-day life.
One thing I couldn't stop thinking about after Floyd was murdered was what would have happened if that crowd would have mobbed the officers. What if that mob became so enraged by what they saw that they attacked the officers surrounding Chauvin and stopped him from continuing to kneel on Floyd's neck? How would that change the headline?
Police officers attacked by angry mob during routine traffic stop in Minneapolis
Urban mob of bystanders attack police; police defend themselves killing 7 people
Scuffle in Minneapolis interrupts Memorial Day festivities
If any of those headlines were published that day, I would not have even hardly glanced at the stories. If those bystanders intervened, they would not have been able to record the atrocity that erupted in the beautifully violent display of outrage that we all felt in that moment, looking into the dark black eyes of Derek Chauvin, then our own reflection staring back at us in our living rooms. The gig was up. We all saw the truth. Internet revolutionaries copied, downloaded, spread the video and it hit us collectively like a much needed punch to the gut. Get up and fight. Or prepare to look away, and accept the consequences of complicity.
Today on Good Morning America "Independence Day Barbeque Recipes for your backyard pool parties"
Thanks Martha, you know we love those pool parties
Indeed we do Clive.
It's easy to forget when the temptation of becoming and remaining numb is so great it pulls like a magnet pulling you apart at the seems. Choose the easy path of neutrality and blindness. And donate to a good cause to assuage your guilt.
It's even easier to hide in the opposition. If we can somehow blame anyone and everyone else for this atrocity, we will effectively pull focus and blur the lines of accountability forevermore. When the oppressed begin to burn down the prison they are trapped in, we should not be surprised when the prison burns down. We cannot expect that they would burn down our prison right? Because how would they get there in the first place...
Our thoughts and prayers are with the Floyd family
We see the pain of the people protesting in the streets
We cannot condone any violence or destruction
Remain peaceful
The National Guard has been deployed
About a year after that murder and riot, at the same exact time that Derek's Chauvin's trial was airing on multiple networks in Minnesota, another murder happened just 13 miles from Floyd's murder. Daunte Wright was murdered by a police officer after being pulled over for having expired license tabs. Even though it was not illegal to have expired tabs at that time in Minnesota, due to Covid flexibilities. The officer "accidentally" shot Dante with her gun, saying she meant to tase him. He was 19 years old. The officer was found not guilty. It turns out our system wasn’t healing at all; it was exactly the same. The status quo wins once again in the name of America, and for the sake of profit.
Minnesota is not unique. American police have been systematically killing black and brown people for over 100 years. The only thing that has changed is how we talk about it. Instead of "racism" we call it "profiling." We justify it with anecdotal stories of black and brown crime, or gang violence, not representative of the problems we face. We will find any way to push the truth down and build up our own egos, perpetuating systemic racism whether we want to or not. We excuse the actions of the officers because we are taught that they are responsible to keep "bad guys" away from "good guys." that's the agreement made between people and those who are pledging to protect them.
However, in order for us to feel safe we must first feel afraid. You cannot successfully persuade a person that you are their hero unless they are afraid enough to want to be protected. So, selling us the lie that poor people, or black and brown people, are dangerous helps push that narrative. If we are afraid, we will want to be protected, and then the police are the heroes. They are not. They are the hired hand of the corporations that sponsor politicians paid to continue to push onto us the illustrious facade that government is meant to serve the people, that people are represented in the government, and that all people are equal.
Melissa
